Pie au Café
by CubsKing
Summary: How will Ned react when he has to try to resurrect a 'special' archaeologist from Colorado?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate SG-1 or Pushing Daisies. I'm just throwing the characters together in a sandbox to see how they play together...

Author's notes: This was done in response to a prompt from the CrossGate Yahoo group. It also functions as part of the weekly challenge of "Odd Ball Stories."

Big thanks to my beta readers, Patti and Margie.

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At the moment, Ned the Piemaker, age 28 years, 42 weeks, 4 days, 12 hours and 7 minutes old, was enjoying his life. He had a burgeoning business, "The Pie Hole," in the town of Lakeshore. He passionately enjoyed his baking. He constantly marveled at the joy a single slice of pie could give. The love of his life, lonely tourist Charlotte Charles, age 28 years, 4 weeks, 6 days, 15 hours and 6 minutes old, better known as Chuck, was across the room, removing a pie from the oven. Ned couldn't touch Chuck because he had previously touched her once to raise her from the dead. To touch her again would cause a death he could not reverse.

As on many mornings, Emerson Cod, age None Of Your Business, came in for his customary slice of rhubarb pie. He was almost giddy with excitement over the latest case that had come across his desk. Chuck slid in next to Emerson, causing him to roll his eyes, while Ned sat down across the booth. While Olive tended to other customers, Emerson filled them in on the details.

The facts were these: Dr. Daniel Jackson, age 43 years, 7 weeks, 3 days, 6 hours and 35 minutes old, was found dead in his hotel room. He had been attending, and presenting at, an archaeological conference on the interconnections between ancient cultures. The coroner had been unable to determine externally the cause of death. He had been prevented by the man's employer, the United States Air Force, from performing an invasive study, though they gave no reason why. He suspected Dr. Jackson had been poisoned, but could find nothing detectable. The Air Force also suspected foul play and was extremely interested to find out the cause of death. They had placed a $100,000 reward on information leading to the apprehension of those responsible.

"Here to see the new arrival?" the attendant on duty asked as the trio entered the morgue.

"I'm the forensic anthropologist. These are my assistants," Ned responded.

"Mmhmm," the man answered. After Emerson paid his usual bribe, though, he didn't ask them any more questions.

After opening the cold storage and folding down the cover sheet, Ned started his watch and touched the man's face.

Daniel started speaking before even opening his eyes. "Thanks, guys. I thought I was gone for good that time."

"That time? You've died before?" Ned asked, astonished.

At the unfamiliar voice, Daniel's eyes shot open and he quickly sat up. "Who are you? And how am I alive again without a sarcophagus?"

"Sarcophagus? I thought those were just for the burial of dead," Chuck stated matter-of-factly.

"Some are. Some bring you back to life. How did I come back without one?" Daniel questioned.

"I brought you back," Ned informed him. "However, you only have a minute before I have to send you back."

"OK, that's a problem," Daniel deadpanned.

"You've died before?" Ned asked again.

"More than you'd believe," Daniel muttered, almost to himself.

"We need to know who killed you and we only have 30 seconds left," Ned urged.

"Hold on," Daniel said as he put up a hand to signify the same thing. He closed his eyes and started to concentrate extremely hard, as evidenced by his scrunched up face.

"What are you doing?" Chuck questioned after several seconds.

Daniel didn't respond. Instead, he started to vibrate slightly and began to glow a little.

"What's going on?" a very startled Ned asked.

Before anyone could answer, Daniel began to glow brightly. Slowly, he lost his physical shape and became a pure mass of energy. He looked very much like a squid, with a long body and tentacles flowing downward. He rose into the air and passed through the ceiling.

Silence hung in the air for several seconds. It was broken by the sound of Ned's stopwatch clicking off.

"I did NOT see that one coming," Emerson exclaimed vehemently.

No one else spoke for several minutes. They looked at each other with identical expressions of wonder, fear, and worry. They were amazed at what had just happened, but worried that since Ned hadn't touched Daniel before his minute was up, someone else might have paid the price. Much to their surprise, no one keeled over.

All of a sudden, the room was filled with the sound of a rushing wind. As Ned, Chuck, and Emerson turned to try to find the source of the noise, they were startled to see Daniel reaching for a sheet from the examination table to wrap around his waist.

"Why do they always send me back naked?" Daniel asked to no one in particular.

"What just happened?" a bewildered Ned wondered aloud.

"Long story," Daniel said with a weary expression.

"Try to explain," Emerson demanded.

Daniel decided to nutshell it. "I ascended to another plane of existence and then retook human form."

"See, that wasn't so hard," Emerson stated.

"How?" Ned inquired.

"Well, this isn't the first time. I guess I'm getting better with practice," Daniel quipped.

"You've done this before?" an astonished Chuck asked. "How many times?"

"This is the, um, third time, I think," Daniel sheepishly responded. As an afterthought, he added, "It is my first time doing it alone, so I guess that's progress."

"Well, this has been a most enlightening experience," Emerson stated. "I say we call the Air Force and tell them their archaeologist is alive again, collect our reward and then go home. By the way, how did you die?"

"Oh. I don't know," Daniel answered, taken aback for a moment. "The last thing I remember before waking up here was taking a drink of my coffee."

"Someone must have poisoned the coffee," Emerson announced needlessly.

"Oh, Jack's gonna love this story," Daniel said under his breath.

"We're so glad we could help bring you back to life, Dr. Jackson," Chuck declared.

"Yes, thank you so much," Daniel said gratefully. He stuck out his hand to shake and was surprised to see Ned jump backwards. Chuck took his hand and shook gladly, while Emerson just frowned and Ned continued to edge away.

"What's wrong?" Daniel inquired, a bit hurt by Ned's reaction.

"I don't know what will happen if I touch you again," he replied. "I could kill you permanently."

Daniel quickly withdrew his hand and smiled. "Well, we don't want that, now do we? By the way, how do you bring people back from the dead?"

"I don't know. I've been able to for most of my life," Ned informed him.

Daniel thought he detected a hint of sorrow with the statement, but he let it pass. "Well, shall we go?"

"Yes, let's," Chuck agreed.

Daniel started to move towards the door when he felt a draft. He quickly realized that he was still only clad in a sheet.

"Um, has anyone seen my clothes?"


	2. Chapter 2

After a brief conversation and the payment of another rather sizable bribe to the morgue attendant, Dr. Jackson's articles were found and returned to him. Happy to be clothed again, Daniel rejoined the others. The quartet of humans (2 living, 1 alive again and 1 thrice-ascended) proceeded out of the building in the direction of Ned's car.

Ned headed towards the driver's door with Daniel following behind him, planning to take the left rear seat. Upon stepping off the curb, however, Daniel tripped. As he tumbled downwards, he flailed his arms. With one swing, his wrist connected solidly with Ned's hand.

A collective gasp was heard as Daniel fell to the ground. Ned and Chuck held their breaths for a few moments, too stunned to do anything else. Emerson rolled his eyes, muttering about how much money this was going to cost him.

As Chuck regained her bearings and hurried to Daniel's side to take a look, he surprised all of them by groaning and rolling over.

"I'm OK," he mumbled.

"You're not dead!" Ned cried out.

"Uh, no. You cured me of that a few minutes ago, remember?" Daniel said sarcastically.

"But... but..." Ned stammered. "I touched you again. You should be dead!"

"Well, I'm still here," a slightly offended Daniel stated.

"What I believe Ned is trying to say is that the second touch you just received, based all his previous experiences, should have left you permanently dead," Chuck interjected, trying to placate Daniel. "It must have something to do with your ascension. Come to think of it, I don't remember seeing a spark when you touched."

"Now that you mention it, I didn't feel one, either," Ned added.

"Do you realize what this means? If I could figure out how to ascend, we would finally be able to touch!" Chuck exclaimed excitedly.

"Oh, goody!" Emerson muttered sarcastically.

"And even if you can't," Daniel added, ignoring Emerson's aside, "maybe there's some other technology we could use to neutralize the effects."

"That's great, but could we continue this discussion in the car on the way to collect the reward and some pie, preferably in that order?" Emerson gruffly demanded.

It was decided that the best way to accomplish both of Emerson's goals was to drive to the Pie Hole. Daniel went upstairs into Ned and Chuck's apartment in order to have some privacy to make a call to the SGC on his secure cell phone while the others invaded the bakery.

Mindful that if he announced that he was not dead (anymore) he might lose the chance to catch his killer, Daniel asked for Chief Master Sergeant Harriman, telling them that it was Space Monkey calling. After a quick identity verification with the Chief, Daniel was transferred to General Landry.

Agreeing with Daniel's assessment of the situation and that his resurrection should be temporarily kept off the record, the General told him to stay where he was and that the rest of SG-1 had already been sent to Lakeshore to investigate his demise. General O'Neill had also been informed and would be meeting the team there.

Once he rejoined Emerson and Chuck in a booth in the cafe, Daniel recounted the basics of his conversation.

"So if you're staying for a while, does that mean you can teach me how to ascend?" Chuck asked excitedly as she grabbed his arm and looked at him with a bright, hopeful and expectant expression.

"Well, I can try," Daniel replied, uncertain if it would work but more than willing to attempt it.

"That's just peachy," Emerson said, sarcasm radiating strongly from both his tone and the smile on his face. "What I want to know is when do I get my big fat check?"

"About that," Daniel said hesitantly.

"Oh, do NOT tell me that they're trying to welsh on my payment!" Emerson objected loudly.

"Well, technically, you haven't found my killer yet,'" Daniel justified as he leaned away from the man across the table. He paused a moment before adding, "Do you realize how weird that sounds?"

Dropping his voice so he wouldn't be overheard in the restaurant and leaning forward menacingly, Emerson growled out, "Bringing you back from the dead wasn't good enough?"

Daniel backed further into the vinyl upholstery of the booth. "Well, if it was up to me, I'd say yes. But I guess they want you to finish the investigation before they hand over the reward."

"That's just great. Now I actually have to go do some real legwork!" Emerson complained.

"In the meantime, let's go upstairs so I can start on this path to ascension!" Chuck cried enthusiastically, pushing Daniel off of the bench and dragging him towards the exit. Before reaching the exit, she stopped, changed directions and went into the kitchen to tell Ned where they were headed. Receiving his whole-hearted blessing (along with a kiss through a piece of Saran wrap), Daniel and Chuck proceeded upstairs.

Daniel decided the best way to set the environment was to recreate the atmosphere on Kheb where he had first learned about ascension. They pushed back all the furniture in the living room and arranged a ring of candles.

"This feels very Buddhist," Chuck commented as they sat down.

"It is," Daniel explained. "The first time I learned about ascension was in something like a Buddhist temple."

"Great!" Chuck exclaimed. "I'm quite familiar with Eastern religions."

"The path to ascension requires you to release your burdens," Daniel said once they began their meditation.

"That shouldn't be too hard," Chuck replied. "I've already been dead. How much more released can my burdens be?"

"But you aren't dead anymore," Daniel countered. "You still have cares and concerns in this world, notably your family and friends. You must release your hold on them to ascend to the next plane of existence."

"Alright," Chuck said with a frown.

After a couple of minutes, she opened her eyes and gave a sigh. "It doesn't seem to be working," she said with a pout.

Daniel chuckled. "You've only been at it a few minutes. Most people dedicate their entire lives to ascending. Don't give up yet."

"How come it was so easy for you?" Chuck asked.

"Well, I've had some practice. Also, each time I've ascended, it's been when I'm on the verge of death. It's a lot easier to release my cares when I know there's nothing left that I can do about them," Daniel noted.

"So, what are you going to do? Kill me again?" Chuck asked nervously. She thought about it for a moment before adding, "I'm not even sure I can die again unless Ned touches me. Ned's dog, Digby, never even ages."

"No, I don't think that's necessary," Daniel reassured her. He frowned and thought about it some more before he spoke again. "Maybe I should ascend and then help you the same way that I was helped. I have the knowledge, and apparently the ability, in my subconscious. Maybe I can restart along the path in order to transfer that knowledge to you."

"OK," she replied.

Daniel took a few moments to center himself before he began shaking again. 10 seconds later, he took on a glowing form before disappearing from view. Chuck sat in silent contemplation for a minute before he reappeared, looking different. He was now wearing a cream colored sweater and no longer using glasses.

"Very nice," Chuck commented as she appraised his new appearance.

"Thanks," Daniel said self-consciously. "Alright, I want to try something. I'm going to share my knowledge with you psychically. You will have to open your mind to me so that we can do this sharing of souls. It's probably going to feel a bit weird."

"Ooh, psychic powers! Will I get those when I ascend, too?" she asked eagerly.

"Well, let's see if this even works first. I've never tried it before," Daniel cautioned.

"Alright," Chuck replied. She closed her eyes and centered herself before announcing that she was ready.

A few moments later, Daniel was also set to begin. He had reverted to his energy form, with just his face still appearing human. As he wrapped several tendrils of energy around Chuck's head, he was surprised to find that the transfer of information was not unidirectional. He was absorbing her memories as he transferred his own, and was shocked at the depth of her knowledge on a wide variety of subjects. 'After this is over, perhaps she'll want to come work with us,' he thought.

Before long, the knowledge transfer was complete. Chuck opened her eyes and gasped when she saw Daniel glowing brightly, his face only inches from hers.

"Wow," she said in awe. "It all makes so much more sense now. I've always wondered about the interconnectivity of seemingly disparate religions and societies. If they were all influenced by aliens, that explains a lot."

Daniel looked at her in shock, mixed with a little trepidation. "You weren't supposed to get that…"

"Oh, I got a lot more than that," Chuck added.

"How much more?" he asked nervously.

"Let's say that I'm sorry about how you lost Sha're, but I'm sure she would have been happy for you and Vala," she stated. Daniel's sharp intake of breath caused her to explain further. "I really wasn't trying to invade your privacy. You transferred the infinite knowledge of the universe, but some of your key memories were more prominent. I couldn't fully control the flow of knowledge at first, so some of it slipped through. I promise not to tell anyone else, but if you ever feel like you need to talk, I am a really good listener."

"Thanks for the offer," he replied, smiling weakly. After a few moments of brooding, he reformed using his residual self-image and returned to the task at hand. "Do you think you're ready to try to ascend?"

"I don't think you're going to be able to help me," Chuck stated. "The Others would interfere. I'm surprised that they haven't already stepped in. In fact, I'm shocked that they didn't just refuse to let you ascend to begin with. Either way, though, I think I'll have to do it on my own. With everything you've just given me, I shouldn't have any trouble reaching the mental activity threshold as I try to process everything I've just learned. As for the spiritual component, I'm ready to give that a try now."

"Very well," Daniel agreed. He reached forward and held his palms just above hers. "I'm going to monitor your physical condition while you do this, but I won't interfere."

Chuck nodded, closing her eyes again and trying to focus using some of the meditation techniques she had picked up over the years. As she slipped deeper into her trance-like state, she found her senses becoming hyper-aware of everything happening around her. She could sense the people moving around downstairs in the Pie Hole. She found that she could even read the emotions rolling off of them. She focused on Ned for a moment and felt his love for her and hope that they would be able to physically connect soon. She let those feelings go, though, and let her senses continue outward. Her circle of awareness was spreading rapidly as she opened herself up towards unity with the universe. She felt her aunts in Coeur d'Coeurs and was able to sense their peace with how their life was proceeding. Soon, she could feel the whole state. Then the whole county. Then the whole world.

Before she knew it, Chuck felt like she was flying away from Earth through the vast emptiness of space.

And suddenly, she was surrounded by light.

"You made it!" a familiar voice called from behind her.

"Daniel!" she cried excitedly, turning and reaching to give him a hug.

She passed right through him.

"Should have seen that coming," she muttered.

"You get used to it," he quipped.

"I'd rather not," she shot back. "Come on, Daniel, I think it's time to go home."

"Alright," he answered, and promptly began to fade away.

"Wait!" Chuck yelled.

"What?" Daniel asked, still becoming more transparent, though less quickly than before.

"I don't know how to get back!" Chuck exclaimed.

"Just click your heels 3 times and say 'There's no place like home.'"

"Really?"

"No, not really. I've been spending too much time with Jack," Daniel muttered. "You just have to think yourself back. I'll see you on the flip side."

With that, Daniel was gone. Chuck took a minute to center herself again. All of a sudden, there was a whoosh and she was back in the living room.

Daniel entered from the bedroom, still pulling on a pair of Ned's pants that he had pilfered from the other man's dresser.

"You're back!" he proclaimed excitedly. Then he took a look at her more closely and frowned. "How come _you_ still have your clothes?"

Chuck couldn't help but laugh. "You seem disappointed."

Daniel flushed with embarrassment. "Oh! No, um, it's not like that. It's just…"

Chuck laughed again. She crossed the room and patted Daniel on the hand. "Don't worry. I know what you meant. Now, if I had been Vala…"

Daniel's cheeks reddened again.

"Now, as flattering as this conversation is, if you don't mind, I'd like to go downstairs and finally kiss my boyfriend," Chuck said giddily.

"After you," Daniel said as he opened the door and held it for her.

When they descended the stairs and reached the entrance to the Pie Hole, Chuck pushed the door open excitedly, hurrying past the counter and into the kitchen. As Ned turned around, she flung herself at him. He tried to step back and avoid making contact, but to no avail. Chuck was too quick as she wrapped her arms around the shocked pie maker's neck. She didn't fall dead like he had feared. Instead, she pulled his head down to hers and kissed him hungrily.

"You're… We can… Is this a dream?" he haltingly asked.

"Does this feel like a dream to you?" Chuck asked as she pulled him in for another kiss that completely short-circuited his mind.

When Ned finally regained enough control to think again, he decided that she felt too good to be a dream. And he never wanted to let go.


	3. Chapter 3

The bell over the door tinkled as a group of men and women entered the Pie Hole.

"All I know is that they said a team had already been there. Everything was already packed and had been collected and that we were supposed to come here. And if I'm here, I might as well sample the local delicacies," the tall, grey-haired man said to the blonde woman, who promptly rolled her eyes. "Don't you agree, T?"

"Indeed," said the mountainous black man. "I have read many wonderful things about the cup pies served in this eatery and am anxious to try them." He turned and took a seat in the nearest booth, watching as the rest of the group slid in as well.

"Hiya," the diminutive blonde dynamo that was Olive Snook said as she approached the table. "What can I get for you this fine day?"

"I require cup pies," the man who reminded Olive of an even larger version of Emerson Cod declared.

"Ooh, which kind are you going to try, muscles?" the black-haired woman seated next to him asked.

"All of them," he replied succinctly.

Olive looked at him in shock for a moment before her training kicked in and she regained her composure. "What about the rest of you?"

"Do you have any chocolate pie?" the woman asked.

"How does our world-famous quadruple choc-tacular pie sound?" Olive asked with pride.

"Wonderful!" the woman exclaimed. "I'll take one."

"A slice for the lady it is. And for you, sir?" she asked the brown-haired man seated next to her.

"Not a slice," the woman interrupted. "The whole thing."

Olive looked at the trim woman again in shock.

"I'll have a cup of joe," the man on the end said.

"Me too," said the grey-haired man.

"How about today's special, our coffee-flavored Pie au Café instead?" Olive asked them.

The first man shook his head and replied, "No thanks, Ma'am. Just the coffee."

"Sounds good to me," the older man replied when Olive turned towards him. "I'll have both. And I'll take a piece of that rhubarb pie sitting on the counter and smelling oh-so-delicious."

"Jack!" the blonde next to him objected.

He gave her his best innocent eyes in return. When she frowned, he put on a pair of puppy dog eyes that Olive thought would have melted even the hardest heart. The woman sighed and finally nodded.

"Sam'll have a slice of Vala's chocolate pie," the man added.

The growl from the raven-haired woman caused Olive to look askance at her. For a second, she could have sworn the woman's eyes actually flashed as she glared daggers at the man.

Jack quickly raised his hands in surrender. "OK, bring Sam her own slice," he amended his previous order as he handed a credit card to Olive.

Olive took a look at the card and then replied "Coming right up, Mr. O'Neill."

"General," Jack responded without thinking about it.

Olive snapped off an attempt at a salute as she turned to fetch their desserts. "Coming right up, General O'Neill, sir."

"How come I'm not allowed to dress like that on your world?" Vala asked after Olive had gone into the kitchen.

"Not now, Vala," Cameron hissed, unwilling to have this argument again, especially in public.

Vala started to pout and turned to Teal'c for backup. She was met with nothing but his usual stony face. Before she could plead further for support, Olive returned with their servings of pie and coffee.

"Is it just me, or does this seem a little… off?" Jack asked after a few bites of his rhubarb pie.

"Indeed, O'Neill, there is something disquieting about these desserts," Teal'c replied as he polished off his first cup pie. "They are delicious, but I also sense that there is something peculiar about them."

Vala looked up from where she was practically inhaling her second slice of her pie, unmindful of the dollop of chocolate whipped cream on the end of her nose. "If there's something wrong, I don't care. This pie is divine! I'm sure it would be worth its weight in weapons-grade naquadah…"

Cam shook his head, but didn't say anything.

A few minutes later, they saw a shadow cross the table as an abnormally tall and thin man stepped into the light. "How is everything?" Ned asked.

"Wonderful!" Vala exclaimed through a mouth full of her pie, earning her a jab in the ribs from Colonel Mitchell.

Ned smiled. "I'm glad you're enjoying my pies."

"Yeah, they're great," Jack added, "But there's something that just feels… wrong… about them."

A panicked look quickly crossed Ned's face.

He was rescued a moment later by Chuck, who came up to stand beside him. "Don't worry, Ned. They'll understand. In fact, let me introduce everyone. On the left, we have: Teal'c of Chulak; Vala Mal Doran, space pirate extraordinaire; Colonel Cameron Mitchell; General Jack O'Neill; and Colonel Sam Carter. SG-1, this is Ned, and I'm Charlotte Charles, but you can call me Chuck."

Teal'c raised an eyebrow at the introduction. Vala preened over hers. Everyone else stared at her in shock.

"I think we need a little more privacy so we can talk more freely," she said as everyone continued to stare at her. Looking around and noticing that there were no other customers, Chuck turned to Ned and squeezed his hand. "Send Olive home and we'll close for a while."

"Are you sure?" he questioned.

"Yes. Now go," she said, giving him a little shove.

"Alright, what's going on?" Jack demanded as Ned turned and left to try to convince Olive to head up to her apartment.

"I'll explain everything soon. Let's wait for Ned first. In the meantime, can I offer anyone something more? Coffee, another slice of pie? It's on the house," she said.

"I'll take another cup of coffee, ma'am, and a slice of lemon meringue, if you've got some," Cam said.

She gave him a bright smile. "Coming right up!" she said as she returned to the kitchen.

Jack watched as Ned finally ushered a protesting Olive out the door and flipped the sign to Closed. Ned took a quick, nervous glance at the table before also heading into the back room.

"OK, something weird's definitely going on around here and I intend to get to the bottom of it," he told the rest of his table.

"Indeed," Teal'c intoned.

A minute later, Ned and Chuck returned from the kitchen. Ned set the plate with the slice of pie in front of Cam while Chuck poured him a refill. She set the pot on the table behind them and pulled up 2 chairs to the booth. As she and Ned took a seat, Jack started in on them again.

"Would you care to tell me what's going on now?" he loudly demanded.

"I think I can answer that," came a very familiar voice from the opening front door.

Before he could continue, a former space pirate had vaulted over the back of the booth and wrapped herself around the man. "Daniel!" she yelled in relief just before she kissed him hungrily.

"If I'd known I would get that response…" he said when his mouth was freed again. "Hi guys," he added with a cheerful wave.

And then Vala punched him. Hard.

"Ow!" he objected. "What was that for?"

"You scared me! I thought I'd lost you!" she cried as she buried her head in his embrace.

"You very nearly did," he honestly stated. "If it wasn't for Ned, I'd have been a goner for good."

"Ned?" came a chorus of disbelieving cries from around the table.

The Piemaker flinched at the loud voices. He gave a self-conscious half-smile. He felt Chuck reach over and put her hand comfortingly on his back and gave her a real smile.

"How?" Jack asked.

"He can bring things back to life with a touch," Chuck explained.

"Really?" Sam said, her eyes alight with excitement. She opened her mouth again but was cut off.

"It's not without its consequences," Chuck quickly interjected. "A second touch renders the life gone forever. He can also only bring a life back for 60 seconds. If they are not touched again, another matching life force is taken. For the fruits in your pies, a planter full of flowers was sacrificed. In order to bring me back to life, someone else had to die."

"He brought you back?" Cam asked.

"Yes, he did," she replied. "And someone else had to die to readjust the balance."

Vala blanched as she turned to look at Daniel. "So in order for Daniel to come back, someone else had to die?"

Chuck and Ned exchanged a glance. "We're not sure," Ned admitted. "We don't think so, though."

"Why not?" Jack asked.

"Because I ascended again before my minute was up and he could touch me dead again," Daniel answered.

"So, it's possible that an ascended being died, but we really don't know," Chuck added.

"Maybe we got lucky and Anubis is really gone forever?" Jack said hopefully.

"We may never know for sure," Daniel said with a sigh. He took a look at the booth and the seating arrangements before he spoke again. "Cam, can you move over to sit next to Sam before we continue? I don't think Vala's going to be letting go of me any time soon."

"Sure," Mitchell said as he got up and walked around the couple seated at the end of the table. After refilling his cup, he plopped down on the other bench. "It's good to have you back, Jackson."

"Thanks," he replied. "Anyway, I retook human form after I had ascended and came back here with Ned, Chuck and a private investigator named Emerson Cod who is still out searching for my murderer. On the way out of the morgue, though, I stumbled and fell into Ned. When I didn't go back to being dead, we were all quite surprised. Chuck also realized that if she could ascend then she could finally be free to touch Ned again."

"After we got back here and I checked in with General Landry, I helped Chuck to ascend. I ascended first and then gave her the knowledge necessary to do it herself so that the Others wouldn't prevent her from ascending. Apparently, she got some of my memories and knowledge in the process, which is how she knew all of you. As soon as she succeeded in ascending, we both retook human form. And a few hours later, you guys showed up."

"So let me get this straight," Jack said when Daniel finally paused. "Ned brought you back to life with a touch, you ascended, descended, found a second touch wouldn't kill you, ascended again, gave Miss Charles all of your knowledge, helped her ascend, and then both came back again."

"More or less, yes," Daniel agreed.

"And I'll bet the fact you violated your non-disclosure agreement by revealing government secrets never crossed your mind, did it?" he asked pointedly.

"Oh, come on, Jack!" Daniel objected. "They've been keeping their own secrets for so long that I'm sure they can keep ours, too. I didn't intentionally tell them anything about the SGC anyway. Besides, it was for true love. Can you honestly tell me that you wouldn't have done the same thing if you could never touch Sam again?"

Jack glared at Daniel but didn't say anything.

"That's what I thought," Daniel said triumphantly.

Sam decided it was time for a subject change. "Is there any way that we could study your ability, Ned? I'd love to know what exactly happens that lets you bring people back to life."

"It's no use, Colonel Carter," Chuck answered. "I have the knowledge of the ascended Ancients, and I still can't figure it out."

"But still, I'd like to try," Sam persisted.

"Wait, she doesn't have Swiss cheese memory like you did, Daniel?" Jack interjected.

"No. They let her keep all of her memories," Daniel whined.

"And my clothes," Chuck added with a mischievous grin.

Vala perked up, pulling her face out of the pie that she had resumed eating when she sat down. "They sent Daniel back naked again?"

"As the day he was born," Chuck answered with a giggle.

"How come I always miss the free shows?" Vala pouted.

Before anyone could respond, the doors to the café burst open and in walked Emerson Cod. He spotted the group seated around the booth and turned towards them. "Alright, I've solved your case," he bellowed as he approached. "Now where's my money?"

"Who did it?" Daniel asked curiously.

"This guy," Emerson said as he withdrew a photo from a pocket in his jacket. He slapped it down on the table. It was a still from a security camera showing a man dressed as a bellboy outside of Daniel's hotel room. He had a cart with a carafe of coffee that he appeared to be delivering. He was pouring a vial into the carafe as the picture was taken. Emerson brought out another couple photos showing the man's face clearly.

"Where can we find him?" Jack demanded.

"He was from a temp agency," Emerson replied. "They had two temps in today. One girl was from the Jolly Fats Wehawkin Employment Agency. The guy was from an agency called 'Trust Us Temps.'"

Jack rolled his eyes and pulled out his wallet, handing a couple bills to Teal'c. "Remind me to never again bet against the big guy," he told Sam, who barely stifled a chuckle.

Jack turned to Daniel. "So, they poisoned your coffee, huh? I told you that drinking all that coffee would kill you someday!"

"So, now that you have your information, when do I get my money?" Emerson persisted.

"I'll take this information back to the Pentagon and look into it," Jack replied. "They'll cut you a check after it's all been verified and the man has been found."

"So I still don't get my money?" Emerson complained. "This day just gets better and better."

"Meanwhile, we need to figure out what to do about Ned and Chuck," Jack continued, ignoring Emerson's aside.

"I'd like to do some tests on Ned," Sam said quickly. At his look of panic, she clarified her statement. "Non-invasive, I assure you. I'd just like to take readings of everything as you reanimate some things. We may not be able to find anything, but I'd like to at least try. As for Chuck, if she has all the knowledge of the Ancients, she could be a very valuable asset for us as a civilian consultant. Her knowledge of Ancient technology and their culture could prove invaluable!"

"I'd love to help and to learn everything I can about other cultures around the galaxy," Chuck said brightly.

Sam beamed at her.

"However, I don't want to uproot my life here," she added.

Sam's face fell.

"I think I have an idea, though," Chuck continued. Seeing as she had everyone's attention, she continued. "With a little help, I think I could build an Ancient transporter so I could work with you and still live here."

"Dead Girl's getting a job? Hallelujah!" Emerson cried.

"Well, this all sounds well and good, but I'll have to talk with the Joint Chiefs and the President," Jack said. "We'll let you know what they decide. Until then, you can't tell anyone about any of this."

"Oh, don't worry about me. I don't plan on telling anyone anything," Ned said forcefully. Chuck nodded in agreement.

"As long as I get my money, my lips will be sealed tighter than Fort Knox," Emerson added.

"Well, with that settled, I think it's time to go," Jack said, trying to usher the group to the door.

"Can I get one of those chocolate pies to go?" Vala asked as she got out of the booth.

"I'll go get one from the back," Ned replied.

While they waited, Chuck hugged Daniel, Sam and Vala. She shook hands with Jack and Cam and gave a perfect Jaffa arm grab to Teal'c.

Emerson just stood and looked gruff and disgruntled.

Finally, after a few minutes, the group from the SGC headed for their homes. As they exited the Pie Hole, they could hear Jack asking Daniel a question.

"Does Oma or someone else up there have a thing for you?"

"What makes you think that, Jack?" Daniel responded, confused.

"Well, why else would you keep getting sent back to us naked?"


End file.
